第4章 Introduction: Beyond War and Peace (第2/2页)

TWOPITFALLS
　　
　　Powerandlovearedifficulttoworkwithbecauseeachofthemhastwosides.Powerhasagenerativesideandadegenerativeside,and-lessobviously-lovealsohasagenerativesideandadegenerativeside.FeministscholarPaolaMelchioripointedouttomethatwecanseethesetwosetsoftwosidesifwelookathistoricallyconstructedgenderroles.Thefather,embodyingmasculinepower,goesouttowork,todohisjob.Thegenerativesideofhispoweristhathecancreatesomethingvaluableintheworld.Thedegenerativesideofhispoweristhathecanbecomesofocusedonhisworkthathedenieshisconnectiontohiscolleaguesandfamily,andsobecomesarobotoratyrant.
　　
　　Themother,bycontrast,embodyingfemininelove,staysathometoraisethechildren.Thegenerativesideofherloveisthatshegiveslife,literallytoherchildandfigurativelytoherwholefamily.Thedegenerativesideofherloveisthatshecanbecomesoidentifiedwithandembracingofherchildandfamilythatshedeniestheirandespeciallyherownneedforself-realization,andsostuntstheirandherowngrowth.[4]
　　
　　Loveiswhatmakespowergenerativeinsteadofdegenerative.Poweriswhatmakeslovegenerativeinsteadofdegenerative.Powerandlovearethereforeexactlycomplementary.Inorderforeachtoachieveitsfullpotential,itneedstheother.Justastheterranulliusperspectiveoffocusingonlyonpowerisanerror,sotooisthepopperspectivethat"allyouneedislove."
　　
　　PsychologistRolloMay,afriendofPaulTillich,warnedofthedangersofdisconnectingpower(whichhereferredtoas"will")fromlove."Loveandwill,"hewrote,"areinterdependentandbelongtogether.Bothareconjunctiveprocessesofbeing-areachingouttoinfluenceothers,molding,forming,creatingtheconsciousnessoftheother.Butthisisonlypossible,inaninnersense,ifoneopensoneselfatthesametimetotheinfluenceoftheother.Willwithoutlovebecomesmanipulationandlovewithoutwillbecomessentimental.Thebottomthendropsoutoftheconjunctiveemotionsandprocesses."[5]May'sconjunctiveprocessesalsooperateonasociallevel,andwecaneffectnonviolentsocialchangeonlyifwecanengagebothourpowerandourlove.
　　
　　Oneofthegreatestpractitionersofnonviolentsocialchange,MartinLutherKingJr.,wasbothapracticalactivistandaspiritualleader.Hedemonstratedawayofaddressingtoughsocialchallengesthatwentbeyondaggressivewarandsubmissivepeace,therebycontributingtothecreationofnewsocialrealitiesintheUnitedStatesandaroundtheworld.InhislastpresidentialspeechtotheSouthernChristianLeadershipConference,King-drawingonhisdoctoralstudiesofTillich'swork-emphasizedtheessentialcomplementaritybetweenpowerandlove.[6]"Powerwithoutloveisrecklessandabusive,"Kingsaid,"andlovewithoutpowerissentimentalandanemic."[7]
　　
　　MyownexperienceofthepasttwentyyearsentirelybearsoutKing'sanalysis.Powerwithoutloveisrecklessandabusive.Ifthoseofusengagedinsocialchangeacttorealizeourselveswithoutrecognizingthatweandothersareinterdependent,theresultwillatbestbeinsensitiveandatworst,oppressiveorevengenocidal.Andlovewithoutpowerissentimentalandanemic.Ifwerecognizeourinterdependenceandacttounifywithothers,butdosoinawaythathobblesourownorothers'growth,theresultwillatbestbeineffectualandatworst,deceitfullyreinforcingofthestatusquo.
　　
　　Powerwithoutloveproducesscorched-earthwarthatdestroyseverythingweholddear.Lovewithoutpowerproduceslifelesspeacethatleavesusstuckinplace.Bothoftheseareterribleoutcomes.Weneedtofindabetterway.
　　
　　Inhisspeech,Kingwentontosay,"Thiscollisionofimmoralpowerwithpowerlessmoralityconstitutesthemajorcrisisofourtime."[8]Thiscollisioncontinuesbecauseourpolarizationofpowerandlovecontinues.Inoursocietiesandcommunitiesandorganizations,andwithineachofus,weusuallyfinda"powercamp,"whichpaysattentiontointerestsanddifferences,anda"lovecamp,"whichpaysattentiontoconnectionsandcommonalities.Thecollisionbetweenthesetwocamps-intheworldsofbusiness,politics,andsocialchange,amongothers-impedesourabilitytomakeprogressonourtoughestsocialchallenges.
　　
　　ANIMPERATIVE
　　
　　Powerandlovestandatrightanglesanddelineatethespaceofsocialchange.Ifwewanttogetunstuckandtomovearoundthisspace-ifwewanttoaddressourtoughestchallenges-wemustunderstandandworkwithbothofthesedrives.
　　
　　Ratherthanachoicetobemadeonewayoranother,powerandloveconstituteapermanentdilemmathatmustbereconciledcontinuouslyandcreatively.Thisreconciliationiseasyintheorybuthardinpractice.CarlJungdoubtedwhetheritwasevenpossibleforthesetwodrivestocoexistinthesameperson:"Wherelovereigns,thereisnowilltopower;andwherethewillpowerisparamount,loveislacking.Theoneisbuttheshadowoftheother."[9]HisstudentRobertJohnsonsaid,"Probablythemosttroublesomepairofoppositesthatwecantrytoreconcileisloveandpower.Ourmodernworldistorntoshredsbythisdichotomy,andonefindsmanymorefailuresthansuccessesintheattempttoreconcilethem."[10]
　　
　　Ihaveseenmanyexamplesofrecklessandabusivepowerwithoutlove,andmanyexamplesofsentimentalandanemiclovewithoutpower.Ihaveseenfarfewerexamplesofpowerwithlove.Toofewofusarecapableofemployingpowerwithlove.Moreofusneedtolearn.
　　
　　Ifwearetosucceedinco-creatingnewsocialrealities,wecannotchoosebetweenpowerandlove.Wemustchooseboth.Thisbookexploreshow.